Life happens, and so I've fallen behind in these blog posts. The work continues, at a faster pace. Here are a few quick lessons from the past few months.

1) It's hard when your mother passes away. Sending light and love to all of you who have been through this and whose footsteps I now follow. The picture below is me and my mother this summer, about a month before she passed. 

2) Excitement continues to build following the America ReFramed broadcast of Councilwoman in September. The need for inspiring stories from voices who rarely get the limelight, goes far beyond television. Check out the latest here, including our first international screenings in South Korea, Nicaragua and the Dominican Republic (the one closest to our hearts)! #RepresentationMatters #CouncilwomanFilm

3) In honor of the Rev. Dr. Alison Cheek, we published our first public clip from the work-in-progress project The Philadelphia Eleven. You can watch the clip here.

I am discovering delicious ways to turn fundraising into creative work. Our fundraising efforts have connected me to almost daily conversations with people who were part of the movement for the ordination of Episcopal women to the priesthood. Each connection is a gift, and has deepened my understanding of this history. 

Here are some fun shots of Kickstarter reward preparation and delivery, including a shot of books waiting for Bishop Barbara Harris's signature, me showing you how I sometimes feel like pulling my hair out when packaging all of this in my office corner, and my favorite assistant, our rescue lab-mutt Shadow.

I always tell people that I am both a filmmaker and a mother. But I stumble when people ask why I insist on including my parenting status. For me, parenting and my career are equally part of my soul. I give all of myself to both of these things as part of living fully. My days are full, and each day brings difficult decisions to balance the demands of both jobs. But why is this so hard to explain? Perhaps because we have never valued parenting as equal with income-earning work. 

My choice is a celebration of vocation. I spent many years facing infertility, and for the past decade I have been blessed to raise two children. I am also a daughter, sister and a spouse, but those roles are not a part of my work. Being a mother is a part of the work of each and every day. I find it immensely challenging and rewarding, just like filmmaking has huge challenges and rewards. 

It is a radical balance to give career and parenting equal value. But it is who I am and what I do. The unfortunate reality is that my privilege makes this possible. The privilege of a partner with a secure income, a network that only comes with growing up in the same region where you work, and the privilege of education that gives me the tools to take on independent freelancing. There is always an underlying privilege of whiteness. I'm not going to give up this radical balance because others do not have the liberty to create their own radical balance; instead I will fight for a world where everyone can follow their vocations with a vengeance.

I feel like I'm in a daily battle against oversimplification. By its very nature film requires simplification because the storytelling is linear and it takes a very long time to say things on screen. On social media, most of us read headlines or one sentence, which encourages us to use language that simplifies. 

But life isn't simple. In fact, the more we engage with all of its complexities, the closer we can get to the  truth. To me that truth is the   soul of the human condition. The best we can do is strive to understand and be as honest as possible, as there is no such thing as absolute truth. The closer we can get to that deep honest place, the better solutions we will come up with about how to solve humanity's most pressing problems. I make films as a tool for us to dig deeper, and challenge our pre-conceptions. It is ironic that we must simplify stories in order to get to the emotions and truths that help us understand a more complex world.

We are on the verge of launching a Kickstarter campaign, which will require plenty of one-liners to get people's attention and encourage them to support a film. As we engage in this process, I wonder if the challenge of being succinct can somehow help us get closer to the complexities that make this story all that it is.

I was born in 1974. I am not Episcopalian. I was raised in a UCC church with a male minister, but knew of plenty of women ministers and never questioned women’s leadership in the church. I’m of the generation that always knew of Episcopal women priests, and did not know the struggle that came before. I always assumed it was the norm.
 
About seven years ago, I learned about the ordinations that took place in Philadelphia in 1974, and was blown away by the bravery of the women involved. At what point did they decide to challenge this institution, which is thousands of years old? How did they consider the risks? The more I have uncovered, the more I respect others who were an important part of the process including the members of the Church of the Advocate, the priests who were taken to ecclesiastical trial, and the list goes on. What moved each of these players to risk their careers, their parish, and their futures, in order to support a group of women who were called to the priesthood?
 
The title of the film is important to me. “To be whole” is a calling for most of us on a daily basis. How do we pursue our vocations regardless of whether society is ready? How do we keep our integrity when it feels like the easy answers ask us to compromise? How do we stand up for justice in every moment when life pulls us in so many different directions? I can imagine post-film discussions where we all reflect on how the story of the original women priests asks us to consider big questions that confront us in our own lives.
 
I am many things in my daily life including a filmmaker, organizer, history nerd, avid gardener and proud mother. I am passionate about collaborating with others to document the lives of the people who have come before us, whose stories have not been a part of the historical narrative. I am excited about finding new ways to distribute documentary films to empower people, and shift narratives. I strive to produce a documentary that will be engaging, and will be a vehicle for teaching, learning, preserving and exploring the past. I find I am at my best as a director when I am listening and allowing the protagonists of the story to lead. 
 
Though I am not Episcopalian, I am particularly moved by this story. I think it raises questions for all of us about whether we are living our lives, to quote The Rev. Alla Bozarth, "with integrity." 
 
We are at a crossroads again, in 2019, just as we were in 1974. Let us take the time to remember and learn about the people who came before us, as we work for a world where all of us can be whole. 

​Margo

The work
I was moved this week watching white male workers testify about how they connected to Councilwoman Carmen Castillo's story at our festival premiere at Big Sky Film Festival in Missoula, MT. This is the impact we didn't plan on, but may be the most important. Thanks to stellar cinematographer Nikki Bramley for these photos.

​What I'm thinking about
People often say to me, "well the Philadelphia Eleven is a story about white women..." While the women ordained Episcopal priests on July 29, 1974 are white, it is not a story only about white people. No story is about one group of people, because as humans we are all connected. In this case, the church that invited the women to be ordained against Episcopal Church rules, at great risk of losing financial support, was the Church of the Advocate in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. It was (and still is) a predominantly black church, led by The Rev. Paul Washington. The sermon was delivered by Charles Willie. The procession was led by Barbara Harris, who went on to become the first female Bishop. These key figures all happen to be black. Imagine trying to tell this story as a story about white women. How does that shift the story? 

Needless to say, we are doing some deep work to figure out how to best weave all of these narratives into The Philadelphia Eleven film. Stay tuned for more updates and a big launch in May!

The work
Welcome 2019! I'm working on a clear vision for the kind of work I do and how to make it sustainable. I am also putting together some new workshops on building audience, and making your first film. More soon! 

In the meantime, check out our first press coverage for Councilwoman. "An upcoming documentary, Councilwoman, examines how she [Carmen Castillo] navigates her working-class life and the political world.” Learn more about hosting a screening here.

What I'm thinking about
I've allowed myself some time to take a deep dive into identifying myself and my vision. So, who am I? I am a nerd who loves to harvest and eat food straight from mother earth. I also am a mother with a passion for parenting. I am a white class-privileged woman, doing my best to navigate raising children of color in a bi-cultural Dominican/American household. 

This work has led me back to the book that most inspires my work: Michel-Rolph Trouillot’s Silencing the Past: Power and the Production of History. I am also inspired by all the people who have shown us a taste of a world where all humans are in alignment with each other and have the resources they need for fulfillment. 
​

The work
COUNCILWOMAN is screening around the country (finally!). Do you need some inspiration? Hop on over to the film web site to find a screening or host your own.

THE PHILADELPHIA ELEVEN
We are still tallying the results of the snail mail request for archival materials and funds for the Philadelphia Eleven film project. There is so much enthusiasm! It keeps me going. 

The stories I am hearing are stunning:
The Episcopal Church approved of women's ordination officially in 1976. But it doesn't seem to be the end of the journey. Perhaps that was the beginning. I've heard all kinds of things in recent weeks. Here are just a couple.

"Well, I'll tell you~ I still don't like women priests....but you're ok. You're not too much of a woman...."

"I've always thought you'd make a wonderful clergy wife!"

What I'm thinking about
The big question on my mind these days is this: Where does my work come into alignment with others? 

I am trying out a new ritual. Each month I will post something about what I'm working on. It's a behind-the-scenes of independent media work; and a little bit of a muse on what I've been thinking about.

The work.
I've decided to mail a traditional letter solicitation to a list of 1,500 for my most recent project in development about the women priests who were ordained in 1974. In this digital age of high stakes online crowdfunding, is this still a viable option? I will be stuffing envelopes all week. The physical nature of this work is fulfilling in some old-school way.

COUNCILWOMAN will launch with a community screening in NYC on November 13th. Get free tickets here if you are in the area. Or share with a group based in New York City that would connect with the film. 

The Master Class on COUNCILWOMAN's lessons learned is coming soon! After seven years, the stumbles are as valuable as the successes. They range from lessons from the field (what to shoot, when to shoot, best use of grant funds); to fundraising (how to put together a trailer for fundraising); to the edit (when is your film done?); to the rollout (how do you reach your audience?). Do you know of a group of aspiring filmmakers who would like to be the first group?

What I'm thinking about.
A vision and a goal are so important. The mundane of the everyday needs a larger purpose. I think about this for myself and for my children. As I reflect on both I realize how intertwined my goals are with theirs. How do they build on each other? How can career goals and parenting goals be one vision? What is the shared vision that guides our family?